meanestbear

Cassandra stared at the new girl, and the new girl stared back, at both Cassandra and the little party of villagers that had accompanied her.

Before either of them could explain anything, a group of people dressed in the finest plaid approached from the back road, stopping abruptly when they spotted the dead dragon and the gathered people.  At their lead was a stout and brawny blonde girl in armor, wielding a glowing sword.

“What the hell?” said the blonde girl, speaking first.

“Who are you?” asked Cassandra.

“I am Lady Alexis of Ottawa,” said the other girl, “heir to the throne of Ontario, and I have come to free my people at last from this beast.  I was chosen by destiny to receive this sword…”

“Really?” said Sandra, finally speaking.  “You too?”

Lady Alexis looked annoyed.

“I… I thought I had been chosen to…” said Cassandra, holding up her glowing sword.

The girls compared swords.  They all looked different but were all obviously quite magical.

“Sorry,” said Sandra, looking at her hands.  “I didn’t know you wanted the dragon.  Anyway, when I came through the portal I just appeared right in front of its face so I didn’t really have any choice.”

The villagers, having spent a few minutes trying to figure out how to react, finally decided.  They cheered.

“The beast is dead!  We are free!”

“Shut up!” said Lady Alexis, and they all shut up.

“Go back to the village,” said Cassandra gently.  “I’ll catch up with you later.”  The villagers turned around and trotted obediently down the hill.

“Well, there’s nothing more to be done here,” said Lady Alexis, looking at the dead dragon.  “Sir Doug, if you could please see about bringing that thing’s head back to the castle?”

“My lady,” said one of the plaid-dressed men, nodding in obedience, and at once began to organize some of the others towards the task.

“As for you two,” said Lady Alexis, “we can discuss things back at the castle.  Come with me.”

The ride back to Ottawa Castle was uneventful, but Sandra found herself fascinated with the landscape.  Her family hadn’t traveled much, so she was entranced by the verdant countryside, covered with forest.  Citizens everywhere were hard at work chopping down trees and harvesting maple syrup.

When they finally reached the castle, Lady Alexis led them to a clean, wood-paneled chamber with a fire burning in the fireplace, and sat them down.  “Now,” she said, “let’s hear your stories.”

Cassandra and Sandra basically gave her the rundown of what was going on, and at the end of it all, she nodded thoughtfully.

“I thought I was special,” said Cassandra lamely.

“Everybody does,” said Alexis, looking at her own sword ruefully.  “Well, I think it’s pretty clear that Sandra here is the one spoken of in the prophecy.  She did kill the dragon.”

“But…” Cassandra sputtered.  “But I could have…”

“I’m sure we’re all quite capable of killing a dragon,” said Alexis, “and we all have magical swords obtained magically, but the fact remains there was only one dragon and you can only kill it once, and Sandra here killed it.”

“But… destiny…”

“Only one person can be the chosen one,” shrugged Alexis.  “What can I tell you?  That’s life.  It’s a big world.  Whatever you’re good at, there’s at least a thousand other people out there trying it too, and what are the odds you’re the best out of a thousand?  Not good.  The tough part is, coming in second is just the same as coming in at one thousand.  There’s the chosen one and there’s the rest, and number two is just part of the rest.  Life’s tough, honey.”

Cassandra looked despondent.

“Look,” said Sandra, “I didn’t mean to kill anybody’s dragon.  The thing just jumped me.  I need to find the other one of these swords real soon.  I need it to save my friends.”

Alexis looked closely at Sandra’s sword.  “I think I’ve seen it before.  Yes.  The Mooseslayer.  That weapon is in the hands of the evil King Jean Pierre of Quebec.”

“King?” asked Sandra.

“Yes,” said Alexis.  “Or so he calls himself.  He thinks he has a blood claim to all of Canada and constantly schemes to conquer all the provinces and unite them under himself.”

“Oh, that’s silly,” said Sandra.

“It’s ridiculous,” agreed Alexis.  “Everyone knows that all the provinces need to be united and ruled over by Ontario.”

“Hm,” said Sandra.

“Anyway, you won’t get that sword away from him except by force.  If you wish, we will muster our armies and ride with you…”

“I really don’t want to get involved in any kind of wars,” said Sandra.  “If you could just point me there, I’ll just take a look and see what I can do first, if that’s okay with you.”

“I’ll talk to my father,” said Alexis, after a moment’s thought.  “We’ll see what we can do.”

Meanwhile, at the top of the dragon’s mountain, a party of adventurers, led by a spunky red-headed warrior woman wielding a glowing greatsword, finally crested the summit, only to find the headless corpse of the dragon.  They stared at it for a minute in silence.

“Well, shit,” said the woman.

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