I wrote this over at the Cracked.com forums and just remembered it now. It is an accurate and factual representation of the inner workings of the U.S. federal legislative branch. I hope it isn’t too dry.
How A Bill Becomes a Law
The United States Congress has two houses, the House of Representatives, and the Senate. These are actually groups of people, not literal houses, differing from governments you may familiar with, such as Canada or France, where two large inanimate buildings make all the legislative decisions. A bill can be introduced in either house.
More R2! This one has that infamous Geonosis droid factory scene.
Somehow Star Wars Episode 1 got released without any subtitles for R2D2, so me and Mike added them in.
Russ tapped his foot impatiently inside the truck’s cab, and poked his head out the window to look skyward again. Explodington was late. A rustling sound behind him caught his attention, and he climbed quietly out of the truck and tiptoed around to the back. Inside was a handsome Teutonic-looking man wearing a leather jacket and a hat, with a whip attached to his belt. He looked up at Russ.
“Bavaria Schmidt!” said Russ. “We meet again.”
The dark forest beckoned. Sandra could sense there was something wrong in that dense tangle of twisted, shriveled trees, but there was no other way ahead.
“They say it’s cursed,” said Gordon, his powerful frame shuddering as he looked into the woods.
“What are you scared of a forest for?” asked Sandra. “Aren’t you a lumberjack?”
Dr. Heinrich von Weinerschnitzel wiped the sweat from his brow. He was a portly man and inclined to sweating, especially so in moments like these. The dreaded word from the High Command would come any minute, he was sure. They did not suffer failure lightly. Yet hardly any of this was his fault. Some careless handlers had allowed the infected test subject to escape, apparently, which infected the entire Fahrvergnugen Air Base with the experimental virus.
He had acted quickly, sending in a team of werewolves, who apparently were also vulnerable to the virus (who knew?) and were now, by all reports, werewolf zombies, also taking up residence in the abandoned base. Reports, such as they were, were fairly vague, as there were no unzombified survivors on the base save one pilot found unconscious in a plane on the tarmac, who insisted he had no idea what had happened there.
Cassandra stared at the new girl, and the new girl stared back, at both Cassandra and the little party of villagers that had accompanied her.
Before either of them could explain anything, a group of people dressed in the finest plaid approached from the back road, stopping abruptly when they spotted the dead dragon and the gathered people. At their lead was a stout and brawny blonde girl in armor, wielding a glowing sword.
“What the hell?” said the blonde girl, speaking first.
The dragon stared balefully at Sandra, with a slight hint of disappointment, as if it had been hoping for a more formidable opponent, and a small child, albeit one armed with a sword, seemed to be a major letdown of expectations. So instead of getting to work on its prey, its head hovered hesitantly over her for a few moments before it drew back its lips to reveal enormous rows of jagged, yellow, slimy teeth, steam seeping out from between them.
Sandra stabbed it in the eye with Mr. Chu’s sword, and the dragon roared, jerking its head back in agony. Sandra, who had barely managed to hold tight to the sword as the dragon’s head pulled away, turned and ran. They were near the mouth of a cave, and she scrambled out towards the daylight. The dragon took a moment to recover and then thundered after her. It was angry from the pain, but the disappointment seemed to have lifted. Maybe it had found a worthy opponent after all!